“When a man is wrong and won’t admit it, he always gets angry.”
It’s all too easy to get angry and take that anger out on others. With horses, we often find ourselves at a loss as to what to do. That loss can often turn into frustration or anger. I have become unreasonably angry with my horse and done things I regret. I need to admit when I’m wrong or need help and make sure I never make those angry decisions again. The anger I feel isn’t always at the horse specifically. It could be directed at myself, the situation, life in general, or just my reaction to fear of what the horse’s doing.
No one starts the day trying to be angry. I never intend to be harsh with my horse. I never intend to lash out.
“As an emotion, anger is rarely productive. It releases stress hormones and neurochemicals that disrupt your ability to evaluate and properly respond to situations and it blinds you to the fact that you’re angry in the first place. And it gives you a false sense of confidence.” Chris Voss
One way I can see around the anger is to admit that I don’t have all the answers, to see if I can find options, discover more tools, or look deeper into the cause. It could be something in myself that I need to fix or it might be that my horse is trying to tell me something.
“Anger is extraordinarily easy. It’s our default setting. Love is very difficult. Love is a miracle.”
― Brant Hansen Page, Unoffendable:
In place of anger, I want to feel love. I want to show love. I want my acceptance of the horse to take precedence over my instinctive reaction to lash out.
“Choosing to be unoffendable, or relinquishing my right to anger, does not mean accepting injustice. It means actively seeking justice, and loving mercy, while walking humbly with God. And that means remembering I’m not Him. What a relief.”
― Brant Hansen, Unoffendable
I don’t have to know everything. I don’t have to have all the answers. I will never be the best there is. All I need to do is:
Seek justice, fairness, and calmness.
Love mercy, kindness, and gentleness
Walk honestly with God, myself, and my horse